The Fix
by The Lucky Ducky
Summary: No, he certainly didn’t belong here. Heck, he wasn’t even invited. - post 7.21 "Unto the Breach", Lit


**Title:** The Fix  
**Fandom:** Gilmore Girls  
**Pairing:** Literati (Rory/Jess)  
**Spoiler:** 7.21 "Unto the Breach"  
**Disclaimer:** "Gilmore girls" mine? Nope. Unfortunately not. But I totally own Milo's ass ;)  
**Summary:** No, he certainly didn't belong here. Heck, he wasn't even invited.

**A/N: **Because it shouldn't have ended the way it did.

**The Fix**

He didn't know why he had come here in the first place. This was certainly not the place where he belonged. He, of all people, standing on the lawn of Yale university, between rich, proud parents, excited to see their smart, privileged kids graduate from one of the best colleges in the whole world. No, he certainly didn't belong here. Heck, he wasn't even invited.

And still, he had to be here. He didn't know what it was that made him come to New Haven, but he just had to. He didn't even know where he was going when he had gotten into his car and left Philadelphia. He had just kept on driving and suddenly he was here. He could have turned around and headed back when he recognized he was arriving at New Haven, but something strikepushed/strike pulled him further. Made him park his car and enter the Yale campus, made him follow other visitors and students to the place where the graduation ceremony was to be held.

And now, here he was: leaning casually against a tree somewhere in the back, watching as one student after the other walked onto the small stage and received their diploma. He didn't pay much attention to the people up there until he heard the familiar name of Paris Gellar. He really hadn't expected to ever see her again after that evening when he had interrupted hers and Rory's studies at the Gilmore house by bringing over that care package.

He smiled at the memory. That night had been fun, even though he would still deny that the care package had been his and only his idea. Luke hadn't had anything to do with it.

And then he finally heard her name: "Lorelai Leigh Gilmore!" His whole attention was drawn to the stage as he watched her receiving the diploma. She looked beautiful in her talar, her long brown hair falling down on her shoulders.

Several rows in front of him he could see Lorelai and someone he supposed was Rory's dad jumping up and cheer.

He couldn't help being proud of her. When he had met her one and a half years ago at her grandparent's house he had barely recognized the Rory he had known and loved. It was almost as if the old Rory didn't exist anymore. She had given up her whole life, all of her dreams and became everything she never wanted to be. And even when she came to see him in Philadelphia and told him she was back at Yale she still didn't seem like she used to be.

But now that he saw her on that stage, holding her Yale diploma and smiling happily, he knew that Rory was finally back. His Rory.

He had planned to leave right afterwards, but somehow he couldn't bring himself to leave the campus. Instead, he kept strolling around aimlessly, watching Rory's fellow graduates and their families celebrate.

Jess stopped in his tracks when he saw Logan walking away from a shady place under a group of trees. The blonde didn't look very happy. Jess frowned. Shouldn't he be with Rory right now? Celebrating her graduation and being happy for her?

A few metres further he finally spotted Rory. She was leaning against one of the trees, not looking really happy, either.

He thought about turning around and heading into the opposite direction – as far away from her as possible – but somehow his mind had lost control over his actions and his feet kept walking directly towards the girl he hadn't seen in more than a year now.

She looked up and a smile spread across her face when she recognized the man walking towards her. She made a few steps in his direction and it looked as if she was going to hug him, but in the last moment she made up her mind and just stood before him.

"Jess! You came!" She couldn't hide the joy in her voice.

He hadn't thought that she would be so happy to see him and it embarrassed him a little. But he didn't want to show it and so he shrugged nonchalantly: "I was around, so..."

"Sure." It was obvious that Rory didn't buy it, judging from the grin on her face, but he would be damned if he gave in and told her that he had come all the way from Philadelphia only to see her.

"Uhm... I saw Logan...", he tried to change the subject, but it seemed to be in the wrong direction.

Rory's face fell. "Oh."

"He didn't look exactly happy.", Jess added hesitantly.

Rory looked at him with a sad expression on her face, unable to say anything.

"Rory?" He looked at her expectantly.

"We broke up."

Jess didn't know what to say but Rory continued anyways: "Well, actually, Logan broke up with me." She laughed bitterly.

"At your graduation?" Jess shook his head in disbelief. "Jerk!"

"It's probably better this way." She didn't sound entirely convinced, but Jess understood and didn't push further.

"Yeah, it sure is." And then: "So how does it feel to be a Yale graduate?"

Rory pushed all her thoughts of Logan away and smiled: "Great. It's a little scary to know that I won't be going to school anymore next year, but besides... it's just great."

"You're still gonna be Christiane Amanpour?"

"I'll try."

"You'll make it."

"What makes you so sure?"

He shrugged. "I know you."

She gave him a half-hearted smile. "I hope you're right."

"You'll see."

For a moment they just looked at each other in comfortable silence, then: "Jess, why are you really here?"

Jess was a little taken aback. "I told you: I was around."

Rory shot him a doubtful look.

"What? How was I supposed to know that your graduation was today? I don't remember you telling me!"

Those last words sounded frustrated and... hurt. And he was.

But Rory wouldn't give in. "Luke could have told you."

"Why would he?" Of course he knew it from Luke. Just... Why hadn't she herself told him? He was angry at himself for wanting her to tell him. Why should she? She had a new boyfriend now. And even if he was a total jerk, she was in love with the blonde dick. Speaking of which...

"What was that with you and blonde dick earlier?"

"I told you: He broke up."

"Today of all days? And without any reason?"

"Do you always need a reason for breaking up with someone?" Her voice was bitter and he knew she was hiding something. Something she clearly didn't want to tell him.

"You've been together for more than two years now. People don't break up after such a long time without having a reason."

"Well, some people do!"

The words and most of all the hurt tone in Rory's voice stung in his heart painfully. He knew she wasn't willingly referring to him and still her words made him feel guilty. They reminded him of that day four years ago when he left for California without even telling her. How must he have made her feel then? Left behind without even knowing why? What if he had stayed? Would they still be together now and hadn't had to have this uncomfortable conversation? He knew he would have never left her again. He looked at his feet and sighed.

Rory realized what she had just said and how Jess must have interpreted it. "Oh, Jess, I didn't mean... I was just..."

Jess nodded grimly. "I know."

"This wasn't about us."

"Rory, it's okay."

"Really? Cause I didn't..."

"It's okay.", he tried to assure her, but Rory didn't sound convinced when she echoed a silent "Okay." and then remained silent.

Jess felt awkward. And he wondered once more why he had had to come here. He had sensed that it wasn't a good idea and he had been right about it. So he decided to end this mess right now: "Well, I guess I'd better go now. I have to get back to Philly."

Rory didn't say anything. She knew she couldn't make him stay even if she wanted to. Did she want to?

Jess touched her arm lightly. "Goodbye, Rory."

"Bye, Jess." Rory tried desperately to hold back the tears that were welling up in her eyes as she watched him turning around and walking out of her life again.

* * *

He watched from a dark corner as Rory and Lorelai carried the last boxes out of Rory's former apartment and stuffed them into their cars.

As soon as he had left Yale campus and was back in his car he had known that he couldn't let it end like this. What had he thought? That he could just attend Rory's graduation, make some small talk and then drive back to Philadelphia as if nothing had ever happened? Could he have really been that dumb?

Truth was, he hadn't thought at all. If he had, he wouldn't have come to New Haven in the first place. And he certainly wouldn't have talked to her. He knew it never did him any good. And now, there he was. Instead of driving back as he should, he stood hiding behind a dark corner, watching her like some psychotic stalker. And why? Because of some stupid feelings she didn't even return! Yes, he was still in love with her and yes, he wanted nothing more than being with her, but he had to finally get over it! She had moved on! And she was in love with someone else, even if the blonde dick was too stupid to appreciate it. So why couldn't he just let go of her?

Rory shut the trunk of her car with a loud thud and leaned against it.

"So, that's it?" Jess heard Lorelai ask.

"That's it." Rory answered with a short nod.

"Well then", Lorelai clapped her hands twice: "Let's go."

Rory nodded slowly but didn't move and kept looking at the dark building she had just lefvt for the very last time.

"Rory? Is everything okay, Hun?", the elder Gilmore asked concerned.

"Yeah, everything's fine", the younger assured. "I just want to have one last look at the house. After all, I won't be coming back this time." She turned towards her mother: "But you can already go if you want. I'll follow later."

"You sure? Cause I can..."

"Yeah, just go ahead."

"Okay." Lorelai agreed. "I'll see you at home, then." She gave her daughter a quick hug, then got into her car. Rory raised her hand and waved her mother goodbye, then Lorelai drove off.

After the jeeps rear-lights had vanished down the street, Rory turned her gaze back to the building that had been her second home for the last two years.

Jess didn't even know what happened to him when his feet suddenly developed a life of their own and dragged him out of his corner and towards the girl that was still standing in front of the house, looking up at the dark windows of her abandoned apartment.

When she heard his approaching footsteps on the concrete, Rory turned around, only to be faced with someone she certainly hadn't expected to see again so soon.

"Jess! What are you doing here? I thought you already were on your way back to Philly?"

"That's funny. I thought so, too."

Rory frowned, not understanding what this was supposed to mean. Seeing the confused look on her face, Jess continued: "I was already on my way back, but somehow I just couldn't leave and ended up here."

He could tell Rory was still confused.

"Why?" One simple word. The question he had asked himself so many a time that day and still hadn't found the answer to.

Her deep blue eyes watched him questioningly. He sighed and ran his hand through his short hair. "To be honest: I don't know myself."

"But you're here."

The tension between them was almost visible.

"Yeah, I'm here."

For a while neither of them spoke cause they both didn't know what to say. And still, it wasn't one of those awkward silences both of them hated so much and had shared more than once during the time they'd known each other. No, they just didn't talk because there was nothing more to say. Right now they were just enjoying each other's company and breathing in the warm summer night's air.

But this wouldn't last for too long. Before he even knew what he was doing, Jess had taken in a deep breath and spilled out the words that were probably the reason for his not going back to Philadelphia earlier: "Why did you and Logan break up?"

The words came out in such a rush that Rory, who certainly hadn't been prepared for that, at didn't even understand what he was saying at first. "Excuse me?"

"Why did you and Logan break up?" His voice was firm now.

"Jess..."

"I'm sorry. I just have to know."

The question had haunted him the whole day since he had left her behind at Yale. Was it simply because Logan had found someone else and Rory was still in love with him? Or had it been a mutual decision? Had he cheated on her again? Or had she finally realized what an idiot the guy really was? And most important of all: Was there still hope for him, Jess?

At first, Rory didn't say a word. She just kept looking at him out of those cerulean eyes of hers and begged him silently to take the question back. But he couldn't.

"Rory, come on."

"He asked me to marry him!" There. It was finally out, spoken just as fast as he had asked her the question earlier.

"He did what?" Jess was confused. Somehow, to him proposals and break-ups didn't really fit together. He must have heard wrong.

Rory didn't look him in the eyes when she repeated: "Logan asked me to marry him."

Jess gulped down the first shock. "Well, congratulations, I guess."

"I said no."

The information hit him like Luke had formerly hit their apartment wall with that sledgehammer and left him speechless. Logan wanted to marry her. And she had said no. She didn't want to spent the rest of her life with that guy. Maybe she didn't even love him anymore. So maybe, just maybe there was indeed still a chance for him.

Finally, Rory dared to look back up at Jess. Her eyes were big with concern. "Jess? Say something, please."

Jess gazed at her intently. "Well, what do you want to hear from me now?"

"I don't know." She grew frustrated. "Something. Anything!" She had actually expected him to show at least some emotions, but his face stayed completely blank.

"So, why didn't you want to become Mrs. Huntzberger?", he asked, as nonchalantly as possible and trying not to show the least interested in the answer.

Rory bit her lip. "I made a pro and con list.", she admitted.

"A pro and con list?" Jess had to suppress a grin. That was so Rory, making a list for every important decision in her life. After all, that's what had brought her to Yale.

"I know it sounds stupid, but..." She stopped, suddenly feeling ashamed of herself.

This time, Jess couldn't help his lopsided trademark grin spreading over his face, although it only lasted for a few seconds before he became serious again. "But Logan could certainly have provided you with a good life. You know, with his money and all..."

Rory nodded, but looked a little hurt. "His money, yeah. And my grandparents like him, too, but.."

"But?" He was really curious to hear her reasons against marrying the trust fund dick.

"But that's just not enough. I mean, his family hated me..."

"Oh, come on. How could anyone actually hate you?" He remembered a time when he wanted nothing more than to hate her. He really did. When forgetting her didn't work. But then he had learned that hating her wouldn't work, either and he just ended up loving and missing her even more. Yeah, he was pathetic.

"They could. They said I wasn't worthy of marrying a Huntzberger."

Jess could tell that it still hurt her. "They sound pretty stupid to me."

Rory managed a little smile, but didn't respond.

"And that was the only reason you said no? Cause if so, then..."

"No!", Rory hurriedly said. "It wasn't the only reason. In fact, it was only one of many."

"That many, huh?" Jess felt a tinge of happiness creeping up his body. Even if there wasn't a chance for him to get her back, at least there wasn't one for Logan, either and for now, that was enough.

"Too many." Rory waved her hand. "He wanted me to move to San Francisco with him. San Francisco! Can you imagine that? That's the other end of the country! Have you any idea how far away from Stars Hollow that is?!"

"Yeah, it's a few miles, but..." He shrugged and added in his head: "...but not as far away as from Philadelphia."

"No buts! It's not even in the same time zone! I'd get to see my mom twice a year! And all that for a guy who cheated on me! I mean, how long till he will make up his mind and has enough of me again?! What then? What am I supposed to do then?"

"Rory..."

"Then there would be no reason for me to stay in San Francisco any longer, but..."

"Rory?"

"...but then I would have to find a new job and..."

"Rory!"

"What?" She looked at Jess completely puzzled as if she had forgotten that he was still there. She probably had.

He grinned. "You're ranting."

"I'm not."

Jess raised an eyebrow.

"Am I?"

He didn't even bother to reply.

"Okay, maybe a little, but..."

"You don't want to go to San Francisco. Got it."

"Even if we stayed here... it's just wrong."

"If you say so."

"And how can you stay so calm? Don't you have anything to say to this? You hate Logan! Shouldn't you be happy now?"

"Your life. Your decision. What do I have to do with it?"

Rory's face fell. "You're right. You've got nothing to do with this." She didn't dare to look up as she continued: "He treated you like dirt. He made me treat you like dirt..."

Jess looked at her completely confused. He was really on her pro and con list?

"...and maybe I didn't love him as much as I thought I did." She looked him directly in the eye for about one second, then away again and anywhere but him.

"You told me something else when you came to visit me in Philly that day."

"I know", she admitted weakly. "But I was wrong. I didn't really love him that day. Maybe I never did. Maybe I just wanted to love him because it was easier than loving somebody else..." All of a sudden, Rory seemed to be really interested in her Converse clad feet, or the pavement below – Jess couldn't tell – but either way he eyes stayed fixed to the ground.

Jess heart was beating faster now, even though he wasn't quite sure if it was out of execitement or rather out of anger. Was she really about to tell him that she had loved him all along and still chosen to be with that rich jerk instead? And if so, why couldn't she have made up her mind a little earlier before she had put him through all that crap? And did she think that telling him that would make everything forgotten? He had actually considered her to be smarter than that, cause she couldn't really expect him to make it that easy for her. Plus, there still was the slight chance that she wasn't talking about him but about someone else. Maybe she was still in love with Dean.

"So, you love someone else. And who may that someone be?" His tone was calm, way calmer than he had expected it to be, and maybe a little cold. But she could certainly take it.

Rory swallowed hard before she looked back up again, this time with a hint of tears glistening in her eyes. But as much as he hated seeing her like that – and it almost gave him physical pain – Jess wouldn't give in. It didn't matter if that someone she loved was him or anyone else, he had to hear it from her mouth.

She squirmed under his demanding gaze, but didn't answer.

"Rory?" He tried to look her in the eye but she turned her head away.

"You already know the answer", she muttered almost inaudible, so that Jess had to strain his ears to catch the words.

"Do I?" Oh, how he hated those cryptic answers of hers!

Rory's eyes still focused on the ground. "You should. At least I thought you would... Just forget it." She turned away. "I'd better go now. Mom will certainly be wondering where I am."

She made a few steps towards the driver's door of her car, not bothering to look back at him one more time.

"Hey!" His voice caused her to turn around. "You can't just leave like that."

"Why not?"

"You didn't even give me chance to answer."

"I didn't think you needed one", she confessed.

"Well, you were wrong." He looked her directly in the eye, his face showing absolutely no emotion.

Rory shivered under his gaze and looked away, tugging nervously at the hem of her shirt. "Okay." He voice sounded quiet, insecure: "Speak."

She couldn't imagine what he would possibly want to say and she didn't know if she really wanted to hear it. After all that had happened between them it wasn't likely to be something positive. And she couldn't even blame him for it.

What she got was yet another question: "So you and Logan are really broken up this time?"

"Yeah. We're definitely broken up. It's over."

Jess nodded. "Good."

"You think so?"

"Yeah."

"Why?", she asked, curiosity in her voice and a flash of hope in her blue eyes. And although she knew her hope was probably completely unjustified, she couldn't help it.

Jess noticed the hopeful glint in Rory's face and could hardly suppress a content grin. But instead of telling her what he knew she wanted to hear, he just shrugged his shoulders indifferently: "Just because. You know I never liked the guy. He just wasn't good enough for you."

"Maybe... maybe I wasn't good enough for him?"

The look on Jess's face made pretty much clear that he didn't agree. "Bullshit. Huntzberger was a jerk. You deserve better."

"Really?" Rory's voice was soft, almost shy.

He nodded. He really hadn't wanted to add the "better" part, because he knew that this excluded him as well, but he couldn't help it. It was how it was and if he had to be the one who told her, then be it.

"Do I deserve you?"

The question seemed so ridiculous, he almost had to laugh. He probably would have, if her face wasn't so earnest and sincere. Here she was, the girl – woman, he corrected himself – he had fallen in love with the moment he had first laid eyes on her, whom he always thought to be unreachable... asking him, Jess Mariano, if she was good enough for him!

Fighting back a huge grin, he answered back as sincerely as she had asked: "It depends."

"Depends?" She was surprised. "On what?"

"Do you want me?" He looked at her questioningly, already searching the truth in her eyes.

Rory didn't have to think about this for long. Before Logan's proposal it might have cost her some time to figure out how she really felt about Jess, but now she was entirely sure. There could only be one answer and she gave it to him without hesitation, even though she was afraid he might turn her down. But it was the truth and she just had to get it out: "Yes!" And then again, firmer: "Yes, I want you. I think I may have always wanted you, although I hadn't realized it by then."

Jess nodded. "Okay."

"Okay?" Rory's eyes widened. She couldn't believe that was all he had to say.

He shrugged. "Yeah. Well, I mean, it's good to know."

"But?"

"No buts." Jess had waited so long for this moment that he felt he had the right to tease her a little now. "I just wanted to make sure (you really wanted this) before I go and kiss you as I should have done hours ago."

Rory didn't know what to say but when Jess made some steps towards her she didn't hesitate and met him somewhere in the middle, eagerly responding to the kiss he initiated. He sneaked his arms around Rory's waist, pulling her closer to his body while her fingers tangled in his shirt, playing with the thin fabric.

They broke apart again after minutes that had only felt like seconds to them, though. Still their arms and hands didn't let go of the other.

"Jerk."

Jess smiled, still a bit breathless. "I love you, too."

**The End**

_05/10/2007 – 01/01/2009_

**A/N2: **So... uhm... that was it. I hope you liked it.

And as I'm a poor university student without any money, I live from reviews. So please don't let me starve ;)


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